As a woman and coach who truly believes all souls are uniquely incredible, I chose to mute my personal and professional presence on social media for a week as the #BlackLivesMatter movement began to roar throughout our world. My intentions were not to be silent, but to quiet the noise of my own life and begin to create space to listen, learn, and find love.
I was given some energetic questions to reflect on as I watched beautiful men and women of color share their stories and speak their truth. One being, "What is it like to see/not see yourself reflected in your feed?" At first, I thought this would be easy. I always disconnect from my networks to release, heal, and recover. But this time, it wasn't about disconnecting. It was about watching. Hearing. Not interrupting.
And if I'm being honest, the watching was emotional. The hearing was hurtful. And the not interrupting, the not helping - left me feeling hopeless. Pausing for selfish reasons is easy. But pausing for a cause that has not been a prominent part of my life thus far was... uneasy. Uncomfortable. Unlike what I would have expected. But I am thankful. Grateful.
After having spent seven days in my discomfort, unable to find a solution for the pain I saw, I recognized that there is a lot I want to learn. More I want to explore. In fact, the depths of which this reality goes is beyond anything I think we can fully understand as one, individual human being. However, I will try.
But as I conclude my week of being muted; as I conclude my experience of searching for love amongst the anger and hate, I am reminded that it is my job. My job to give love. To create love. And to be love.
Today, on a hike with my husband, I realized what's next. I was provided the answer of how I can be of service: I can and I will take the steps needed to start change within our nation, but my most powerful tool is my heart. My ability to heal. And getting lost in the hurt won't help anyone. Getting lost in the anger won't allow me to use my gifts to guide others towards individual enlightenment. Towards subconscious shifts. To a place where each soul is able to feel a sense of freedom.
Being muted has reminded me that I am a healer. And today, I will continue healing.